Sunday, 8 February 2009

Long time no post

For me, anyway. I have an excuse, I promise! Our stuff has still not arrived from Boston, so we've temporarily relocated to a hotel because frankly, I'm a princess and 4 nights on an air mattress is my limit. So there hasn't been much cooking going on.

I am making psychological progress that is very encouraging to me. For example, I had a lovely experience last night. The SO and I met up with an old, old friend of mine who I haven't seen for 5 or 6 years. She's in SF getting her PhD in neuroscience (yeah, she was the smart one in our group, can ya tell?) We went to a Thai place in Inner Sunset for dinner.

I had Po Tak, which is a mixed seafood soup in a clear chicken/lime spicy broth, as well as a green pumpkin veggie curry I split with the SO. I have lost a decent amount of weight since the last time this friend saw me. From some people, this would elicit some kind of expression of concern. But she just told me I looked great. And she didn't make one crack about me not eating any rice.

Most of my friends are very much like this, but I was curious to see how one I hadn't seen in a long time would react. I'm obviously still a bit defensive, anticipating negative comments. But I also wasn't about to eat the rice as some kind of anticipatory 'see, I'm normal, really!' or order dessert for show. That I consider progress. But I was also reminded I need to give people more credit sometimes, and not let a few bad apples spoil my impression of the lot.

The other bit of progress for me was at lunch on Friday. Where I work, on Fridays everyone in the office eats lunch together. This week, it was sandwiches. Someone was complaining about how heavy they were, and someone else said "you could eat the inside out" and I actually said "yeah, that's what I do." I would NEVER have said that out loud even a few months ago. I would have done it, but I would have been furtive about it (see above: trying to avoid the perception I'm a freak.) I also stole the kale garnish from the sandwich tray to top my meat.

So I'm going to pat myself on the back for the progress I have made in being more comfortable about being open with the way I eat. And I'm going to remember that it can't hurt to give someone the benefit of the doubt until he or she shows me that he or she doesn't deserve it. It's definitely easier on the knees not to be in a defensive crouch all the time.

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